30.

I am a raw, unapologetic and open human being. A creative gay Filipino-American male from the Bay Area. A rebel and lover who has experienced countless episodes of happiness, success and trauma. 

The beauty in life is always having a choice. With numerous past seasons of thinking I was lost in a funk, I claimed to cleanse out my life to uncover the truths within me. I focused on deciphering where I stand on gratitude, acceptance, intention, integrity, love, self-love, purpose and vision. 

Through trial and error, I believe that willpower and motivation is the recipe to clarity and alignment in achieving the ultimate goal of being whole. In hindsight, every moment of bliss and attack has prepared me for this breakthrough...and the current feeling of satisfaction is far more than what I wished for.

This is my journey to 30. 

“This March, I will continue to be grounded in gratitude. As I release what does not serve my happiness, I welcome the abundant blessings pouring into my life. I am appreciative of where I have been, and I am hopeful for where I am going. Thank you, Universe, for guiding, protecting, supporting and loving me always. Amen.” @commandinglife.

I’m extremely grateful for the countless blessings that exist in my life. I wouldn’t be half the man I am in this Universe if it weren’t for the support system who’ve empowered and steered me in all the right directions. My God, my parents, my family, my girls, my mentors, my homies, my clients, my acquaintances I’ve met along the way. I also send forth loads of gratitude to all life experiences for they all contribute to the overall vision. My relationships, my experiences, my narrative...all in balance and harmony to keep all wheels turning, especially the ones in my heart.

Accept it and own it. The good, the bad, the ugly, the exciting, the crazy, the unwanted, the unnecessary…habits of life. Inescapable? Accept it. Don’t like it? Change it. Able to live with it? Own it.

Acceptance is key. Acceptance of the past, present and future. Accepting that you are who you are because of your every little thing that has happened in your life. Accepting that there’s nothing you can do for a promised tomorrow. Accepting that the internal negative talk will probably never go away, but learning to shut it up is the start. Accepting that despite all the pain we experience, we rise up higher. Accepting that life is inevitable, so you have to roll with it. These are the keys that have opened doors to an awareness greater than I ever imagined. 

“Do not copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a person by changing the way you think.” Romans 12:2 // Many times I find myself in creative mind block. For a person always needing inspiration and direction, God has been there to calibrate. Let go, let God...my God made me a promise and it won’t stop now.

I am excessive, I am loving and I am passionate...all with intention. Stop and take the time to understand motives. Ask why and what for. How serendipitous it is to feel real emotions once covered up in ones misleading. Being mindful of actions sets free doubt. Act with intention and commit. 

To be wholesome. To be undivided. To know my worth. To activate my voice for fluid communication. To activate my power to influence others. To have integrity. 

Be the best version of yourself + live your best life. Be that example. It’s contagious. 

I dream to love unconditionally. “We must learn to focus on warm energy. always. soak our limbs in it and become better lovers to the world. for if we can’t learn to be kind to each other how will we ever learn to be kind to the most desperate parts of ourselves.” — @rupikaur_ 

Always (always always always) follow your intuition. 

Bloom that vision. Be clear with manifestations. Invest the time to plan and think things out to fulfill expectations. Greenery a la Jcap / life goes through countless seconds on hours on days on weeks on years of visualization to capture and deliver a particular vision. In flowers / life, less is more. In flowers / life, letting it settle and coming back to it is acceptable. In flowers / life, maximizing every fucking part of it will support the bloom. All details in flowers / life matter and always contribute to the bigger picture. Just like flowers / life, all good things must come to an end. With that end comes a new beginning. Flowers / life is a continuous process of the ongoing enlightenment. 

Self-love. Self-worth. Self-control. Self-discipline. Selfie, selfie. All day. Every day. Necessary for mental health and it starts within. Just fucking do it (and own it).

“Yesterday I decided to fight the f*** back. Reclaim my body and stop trying to change this chest and these hips and these curves that my mum and dad made and love so unconditionally. Some may take this as narcissistic and showing off but if you knew how much courage it took to do this and the body trauma I have experienced as a kid you wouldn’t think those things.” — @samsmith 

I was at war with myself for decades. Because of the destruction, I was locked up in a person I didn’t love. I am filled with anxiety and a speech impediment, and I have learned they do not own me. Naturally, this is me...and I embrace it. 

Trust the journey, trust the process, trust the timing of your life...and in that time, your blessings will multiply. 

My purpose is to use my creativity and generosity to produce experiences that promote happiness and positivity.

I am creative. I am worthy. I am enough.

The Universe has no fixed agenda, so go with the flow and ride the wave. Start with the man in the mirror and hold onto him. Discover and analyze those layers. Life won’t work unless you do. Change occurs when you make the effort every single day. It’s something unpredictable, and in the end it’s right. The road to 30 was not easy, but I made it y’all.

In retrospect, I am blessed af. 

photos by Jennifer Garcia / @jengar + life coaching by Mike Sagun / www.mikesagun.com